Nat nat nat...

2006-08-10T00:08:00.000-07:00

My Tribute

I have tasted that the Lord is good.
His mercy never ends,
nor His love and compassion.
His is the hand that provideth for the poor,
healeth the broken-hearted and cureth the sick.

Sorrow and tears He replaces with joy and laughter.
For every tear shed, He offers a smile.
For every kind of pain, there is comfort in abundance.
His faithfulness never ceases even to those who have been unfaithful.
His forgiveness readily awaits those who repent in earnest.

Who am I that Thou shouldst love me?
Who am I that Thou shouldst care?
Of what use can I be to Thy powerful kingdom that Thou must bestoweth upon me such goodness?
What have I to offer Thee that Thou goweth through deliberate lengths to appease me?
What am I in Thy holy eyes that Thou hath chosen to bless me?

Aye, I am but a lowly mortal.
Swirled in my own bitterness and malice.
Destined for the depths of hell by my spiteful nature.
Yet in Thee I have found salvation.
My spirit and being are renewed in Thee.

Though I constantly stray from Thy righteousness,
Thy gentle hand hath never left my side.
Thou steereth me back into Thy loving arms,
Where love and hope await me,
Where Thou lavish me with Thy tender care.

There is no one like Thee, Lord.
Thou healeth my heart that is blackened with despair and evil.
Thou heareth my cries and shoulder my burdens.
Thou giveth me one so fine to love.
Thou yieldeth for me the fruit of my labour,
Many times more than I deserve.

Nay, i am not worthy of Thy manifold blessings.
I have denied Thee my full love and devotion.
My time is squandered on earthly matters,
Leaving little for my quiet time with Thee.

Yet, I know Thou will not forsake me.
For Thou art a gracious God whose ways are beyond my comprehension.
Thy wonderful works and mighty word,
Thy glorious splendour and majestic grandeur.
They tell of Thy power and authority.
Yet it is Thy endless love that beckons me,
To love and serve Thee all the days of my life.

2006-07-20T23:54:00.000-07:00

Updates

My blog has been sleeping for quite some time now, just to make sure it doesn't die off, i'm going to post some of the usually considered boring stuff which, sadly, has now become my means of alleviating the constant ennui in my current state of living...

Last Thursday:
My first 'movie marathon'. Some PM3ers went to One U (again..haha) to watch Superman and Pirates of the Caribbean, all in the space of 6 hours i think. Actually, only Evelyn, Teck Ree and I watched Superman. We were part of the sparse scatter of heads in the virtually empty cinema, owing to the the fact that Superman has been running for quite some time already, and because (i totally disagree) some people find movies with pretty boy stars lame. Sob. Call me a stereotype fool, but i enjoyed it a lot, although my sappy, sloppy heart wished it had ended on a more romantic note.

Pirates of the Caribbean was entertaining, witty and intriguing. Laughter kept me warm in the freezing cinema, together with intense suspense, right until the very last part, where the plot crashed and collapsed to nothing. It has been said that most girls go in to watch Orlando Bloom and come out liking Johnny Depp instead. I can see why =) .I missed the first sequel, but after a brief summary from Evelyn, i knew that Keira Knightley and Orlando Bloom were supposed to be an item, which is why I'm still confused with the story's ending. I don't consider this a spoiler because people who are enthusiastic enough about the show would have watched it by now, and it's not a big part anyway... I would like to know what it meant when Keira Knightley held the compass and it pointed to Johnny Depp. Was it an answer to her question or an answer to her heart? This wasn't the only part i missed, apparently, during the Superman movie, the cute little Jason realized that Clark Kent and Superman are one. Somehow, i don't recall that scene. Guess i must be blurrer than i thought...hehe..

Last Saturday:
Jon came over for lunch and showed me the way to IMU through KTM. It was the first time i sat in his car and watched him drive. ^-^ Living in Subang, the trip to Bukit Jalil (where IMU is situated) by car would cost six dollars for toll each day. With additional charges for parking and petrol, my parents thought i ought to find a cheaper means of transport. Unfortunately, taking KTM would require a transit to starliner somewhere downtown and the total cost per day would be a ridiculous eight bucks. Short of moving to the apartments in Bukit Jalil, which my parents refuse to consider an option, I'll have no choice but to start learning how to drive PROPERLY.

Last Monday:
One of our cell group (a christian fellowship group) members bought three tickets for my family to enjoy a night of cultural dance presentation held in conjuction with NECF's anniversary. Dato' Seri Ong Ka Ting was there to grace the occasion as the MCA building had been the venue for the celebration. Dato Ong is not a christian, so his closest attribute to the religion in his speech was 'Thank God i grew up as a good boy'. That received a sounding applause from the floor. The performers were all foreigners, from the west and from Philippines. The crowd couldn't really relate to the western dancers as it was a kind of ballet and acrobat dance. The Pilipinos received much warmer applause with their bamboo dance and skills in balancing candles on their noses and foreheads. It was a heart warming show, but somehow my mom went home feeling depressed.

Yesterday:
Finally received pastor's e-mail on which songs to play for this month's combined prayer meeting. Figured it's about time i started serving God in someway before school commences and i start pushing Him to the backseat again. It is a very scary task, given that i have not touched my piano since my second attempt at the grade eight exam. It's only three hymns but one of them with five freaking flats! I have exactly one week to work something decent out, so, i'll be missing in action for awhile. I'm sorely in need of practice. Wish me luck! =p

2006-07-06T18:07:00.000-07:00

Screwed Up Nutcase

I remember a time when I attended christian fellowship in CHS during form one, there was this guest speaker who spoke about making decisions in life. He claimed that there are two decisions that will be of utmost importance in a person's life. One is your career choice, the other, your life partner. At thirteen, i was young, pimple-free and naive. I honestly thought that God would just present all the answers to those decisions on a shiny silver platter, and all i had to do was follow my heart.

Today, I am relatively older, not so pimple-free, but still very naive. If life were a 100 metre hurdle race with two hurdles, i am currently starring directly at the first, which happens to be less than a feet in front of me.

To be honest, i've never actually considered my career options seriously. My choice of professions has varied immensely throughout all nineteen years of my life. Some were stimulated by genuine interest, few were well founded, and most were downright ridiculous.

When i was required to fill up a form on my ambition during primary one, my choice had been to be a school teacher (so i would be the mighty, feared and respected one with all the power). The next year, i wanted to be doctor, (because the doctor's kit my brother got for his christmas present was so much cooler than the stupid bridal doll i got). Then my parents were invited to a house warming party by an old friend, who had single-handedly designed her own three-story house with built in closets and secret hide-away rooms. I went home, wanting to be an architect when i grew up.

Some time later, I went through a certain phase between primary five and form three. Beauty, Glamour, Fame and Fortune were the allures in my dream of becoming an all in one Hollywood actress, singer and supermodel. That dream, till this day, remains my longest lasting aspiration. But reality kicked in soon enough. The pimples sprouted, my growth spurt stopped, leaving me a little over five feet tall, and the eagerly awaited burst of talent just never arrived. It took me awhile to acknowledge it all, but eventually i realized, my dream would always remain what it was. A Dream.

When I had to think about my livelihood again, a few career options appealed to me. Amongst those were, a financial controller, a lawyer (inspired by Ally Mcbeal and The Practice), an accountant and a lecturer. I went into Taylor's College with these in mind...

If you had read my earlier post, you'd know about how i switched classes, and you'd understand why medicine has topped my list of occupations for the last eighteen months. Much as the hospital attachment I'd participated in Taman Desa Medical Centre freaked me out, (till i had to complain bitterly to a certain someone, who then STRONGLY suggested that i drop the idea of medicine completely) , I'd mindlessly went along with the crowd, to the extent where I actually attended two interviews for entrance into two medical schools.

For the past six months, i have emtied myself of all rational, lived in blissful ignorance, and was all prepared to jump into IMU or Monash for medicine. I was on a four day paradise holiday in Redang when i learned of the IMU results. It was on the morning just before we checked out. Paradise disintegrated then. It shattered my fragile world which, in all honesty, had been built on rocky foundation to begin with. The ride home was painful. The discussion with my family when i stepped home was excruciating.

Since then, I have been rocketing back and forth between taking medicine and finance. My preference varies with each day, sometimes with each hour. I am in a constant state of confusion, delusion and distress. As datelines are looming dangerously close, I am still waiting for that silver platter i believe God will send.

IMU's offer for february intake was a slam to my pride. It made me think of whether it was God's way of saying NO to medicine or simply a humbling experience for me. Or could it be God choosing Monash for me instead? In any case, i'm unsure if completely writing it off my list or not is the right thing to do.

In my blind pursuit of medicine, i'd half heartedly put in applications for finance, commerce, economics, business,etc... These were all looked upon favourably, as entry requirements for these courses are way below average,( not that IMU had any high requirements) , it was just that acceptance into the australian universities for these courses did not necessitate for any interviews, which i happen to suck badly at. The problem with all these offers is that I have no means of paying such costly fees. In the midst of all my frustration, uncertainty, pride and self doubt, God has also sent a miracle into my life to cheer me up. I had been awarded a partial scholarship from ANU two days ago which, in all honesty, amounts to nothing. So sadly, that is just about all it can do. Boost my confidence and restore the spring in my step.

Today, I received a call from IMU. Apparently, some of the better students who were offered the August intake initially, had rejected their offers, making way for students who were pushed to the February intake. So now, everyone from PM3 who had applied for IMU are currently in the August intake.

As of today, my options are:
A) Wait for another miracle to happen in my parents' financial status to back up the first. (dateline: 13 July)
B) Join in IMU's august intake with the rest of my friends (dateline: 21 JUly)
C) Go on in a local Monash finance programme ( dateline: 12 July)
D) Wait for Monash medicine and join in if successful (dateline: mid- august)
E) Remain in IMU's February intake where there'll be less competition (dateline: 1 October)

Yes. I am the most fickle-minded, immature, muddled, confused, emotionally and mentally unstable person you'll ever hear of. Despite it all, i must admit that God's grace has been abundant. Indeed, He has provided far more than i deserve. I am laying my life in His hands and trusting Him to show me the way, because the road ahead of me is still misty...but as the good shepherd never abandons his sheep, so i believe God will lead me the right way and never abandon me.

2006-07-01T06:38:00.000-07:00

Birthday Weekend

I managed to wrangle a day off from my parents on Friday to watch "take the lead", the dancing show starring the ever classy Antonio Banderas. Slept rather late the previous night, enjoying the feeling of being free to sleep late the next day. Su Ying was scheduled to pick me up at around two in the afternoon, so i set my alarm at 11:45 a.m. I was awoken by a phone call instaed, from Yun Yi..hehe.. Dashed to my bathroom to have the gooey pimple cream washed off, then brushed my teeth to eliminate bad breath...

Yun Yi came with Yinn Cher, to deliver me a 'private and confidential' hand written letter from Yun Yi, which i was sworn to keep unopened till the stroke of mid-night. My first birthday gift. The day started off so well... untill Yinn Cher abandoned his car to come greet me, and got a RM80.00 saman for it. My fault. Should have warned him about the cold uniformed men who so ruthlessly patrol the Subang Zone every other day. Since i was too excited to go back to bed and didn't want to betray Yun Yi's confidence and trust by breaking my vow, i decided to heed Jon's advice and did my quiet time in the morning...

The Daily Bread was good. Mentioned something about leaving everything in God's hands. I needed to read that, since the ANU scholarship results were supposedly out on that day. It's been awhile since I had truly taken time off to connect with God, so it was good getting back on track.

I was rewarded just minutes after..when Yee Yien and Jor How came over with such sweet and thoughtful presents for me. On the last day of college, we got some kind soul to take a picture of Yee Yien, Jor How, Jon and I. They enlarged it and made it the background of a 2007 calender. Everyone who saw it said it was so sweet. Personalised and special. It bears a strong significance to me. I see it as the bridge between two separate chapters of my life. One of my life in CHS where two very important individuals had been my aid and guide in an environment and language i'd struggled immensely with ; the other of a new found joy bestowed upon me in my early adult life. They also got me a pink furry handphone pouch, inside which they hid an elegant, stylish pair of dangling earings (similar to the ones i wore for my prom, but with additional diamond studs on top) , and Yee Yien's love letter to me. =P

I later called ANU to ask about the status of my scholarship application, only to be told that I will only be officially notified on Monday. OK. Could mean a good or bad thing. Either way, it meant I'd have a 'worry free' birthday first...

Lily and Dennis came over for their last practice. It was a MAJOR improvement over Saturday. I took out a purple blouse i had saved for quite some time now, almost choked myself to death trying to put it on...guess i should stop stealing biscuits from home to munch at my parents office...

The movie was quite good, the female dancers were excellent, the male dancers were ok. We then decided to give Evelyn a surprise visit, our second surprise for the day, the first being Dar Ray's presence at our outing...hehe... Yinn Cher and Yun Yi arrived later, after taking a slight detour to Baker's Cottage where they bought me a nice little chocolate cake with two lovely strawberries on top..=P The cake was from Yinn Cher, Yun Yi, Jon, Evelyn, Su Ying, Sarene, Dar Ray and Kenn (who got a little lost on his way to Evelyn's house)..
While waiting, I opened my present from Yun Yi, Evelyn, Yinn Cher and Su Ying...they got me some pretty pink stuff too..hehe..guess it's quite obvious what my favourite colour is.. Anyway, It was an exquisite wind chime with cute little hearts dangling on it. I might hang it in my room someday, IF i ever get a room...Apparently Yinn Cher was the one who chose it. The other gift was a pink and white hair ribbon..feminine and falshy..so totally my style..haha..guess my friends really do know me well, after witnessing my dress sense for 18 months =)

After the cake ceremony, we went for Bak Kut Teh (a chinese dish, pleasing to the mouth but not to the complexion). Jon did not join us for that, sadly. It was an appetizing meal indeed. Dar Ray who sat on my right poured tea for me throughout the whole meal...guess i should do my good deed for the day and put in a good word for him, spare him a little from Yun Yi, Evelyn and Ai Wui's merciless teasings..haha.. Su Ying, (i really don't know how much more genorous can she get) paid for the scrumptious, sinful meal.

Before twelve, I received an early greeting from Ghulam who called to wish me well for my birthday and my interview. He studies in the International Islamic University, altough I haven't seen much of him since i left high school, i'm thankful for such a thoughtful friend. I also received birthday wishes from Dar Ray and Sarene. Near the hour, Ai Wui was the first to wish me, followed by Lawrence, Yun Yi (who promptly gave me permission to open her letter =P), Su Ying, Rong Xiang and Evelyn.

I rushed to find Yun Yi's letter amidst the horible mess on my table. Brought me to tears. She remembered so much of our frindship, every itsy bitsy detail, from the day I came into PM3. The letter was Four pages long. I read it twice. The second time no less emotional than the first.

It was an almost perfect day. I shed a tear for Argentina before i dozed off that night...

My birthday morning started on a high note. I found a colourfully wrapped gift in the middle of my table clutter, on it was pasted a heart shaped card made from a simple full scaped paper. It was from my maid, Cess, who bought me an adorable heart shaped Avon key chain, it was a locket sort of thing which could be opened, to reveal a mirror and a place to put a tiny photo...=)

Then Jon came, and I found out why he had been so busy the past week. His present was a thousand origami cranes..swans, i call them... For those who have not heard of it, there was this Japanese legend, that claimed that if a man made a thousand cranes in one lifetime, his or her wish would come true. The beautiful creatures formed a dazzling blend of colours in a transparent plastic bottle. A red sash was tastefully tied at the lid. I'm deeply moved by the amount of effort and toil that must have come in making them, not to mention the handmade paper card with an intricately carved blossom at it's cover. I don't normally believe in legends, wishes and all, but Jon told me he had prayed over every one of them, I cried after reading that on msn that night, so I take it as a blessing.

The Monash interview was plain weird. I had questions like 'Do you have any cultural or religious beliefs that might interfere with you handling male patients in the future?' and ' Are you aware that during your course of study you are required to work with fellow students, perhaps of the opposite sex, which will involve physical contact like say...when you're practicing how to take each other's blood presure? Would you feel uncomfortable with that? ' Sadly, despite that being the funniest questions i've encounterred in any interview, it was perhaps the ones i'd answered most honestly, straight from my heart. The pimples weren't completely gone but they cleared a little, thankfully, the interviewers didn't seem to take note of them...I was quite bummed after the interview...

A few people made me smile again though... I had birthday messages from Petula, indeed the longest lasting friend i have, to date, my aunt from Johor and another aunt and uncle all the way from England. That night, Priscilla came over with the fanciest wrapped gift i'd received... It was also pink...hehe...She bought me a polo perfume for women =P and a very touching card. On msn that night, i spotted Rong Xiang with his personal message 'don't forget to wish natalie happy birthday'. These are the little things that warm my heart and made my day special. I also found a special 'long lost' friend that night on msn... Slightly after the dawning of 2nd July2006, my phone beeped and Hui Xuan wished me a belated birthday. =)

I really don't know what to make of my 19th birthday. Only that i'd shed a lot of tears. Some of joy, some of gratitude, some of dissapointment, some of frustration, some of sadness and confusion... yes, as i'm writing this, i STILL do not know what to do with my life. The final dissapointment of the day was when England lost..= (

I awoke the next morning for church. This time, no alarm was needed. The news of Brazil's defeat was just SHOCKING. And sad. The church sermon was very good though, it said, we sometimes thank God for answering our prayers, but we should be equally grateful when He DOESN'T answer our prayers, because He knows what lies ahead and which is the best way to go. This might be a life-changing week for me, so i'll keep that in mind.

After church, my aunt, the one who got the camera for my prom, treated our family in light of my post birthday celebration.We went to The Windmill, a western restaurant which served rather large portions of succulent, tasty meat. I ate like a glutton, till I could take no more and had to leave my coffee unfinished. Then I got home and slept like a dead log. It was my piggy day. My brother tentatively woke me up in the evening to ask if I wanted go to pasar malam (the night market where virtually everything can be found). I nuzzled my bolster and contemplated if i should go. Feeling all the sinful food i'd consumed in the past few days still sitting in my stomach unsettlingly, the feeling of instant panic and guilt arose and i was forced to get up and go.

Upon stepping into the entrance of the pasar malam, the first scent i picked up was the aroma of freshly fried martabak ( an Indian dish i think...of meat and eggs wrapped in Indian bread) It took a lot will power to walk away from the stall, and I was proud of myself for doing so. But it was short lived. On the way back, we had to pass the same stall, and i could resist the temptation no more. I had that for dinner, and am still regretting it now, not so much of the weight issue, coz it was only a small piece, but more because of the terrible breath that still lingers in my mouth.

So...thank you all you special people who made my weekend so enjoyable. The photos are with Yinn Cher who's currently in Langkawi. I hope to edit this post with the pics as soon as i get them. Hopefully my com won't give me much trouble then...

2006-06-27T19:53:00.000-07:00

My Star Studded Night...

This post is so delayed because of my incompetent computer knowledge. Anyway, much of the night is still fresh in my mind...

It was a night I'd eagerly awaited for so long...

Throughout weeks of exam toil and anxiety, i'd dreamed about the Taylor's Graduation Ball. I even had my frizzy curly hair iron permed in advance (before exams were over) to make sure there would be enough time to correct any mishaps, which ,by the way, did occur the first time i straightened my hair, calling for a second visit to the hair dresser, free of charge, of course. All the trouble just so it'll look presentable for this night.

The dress was bought in Vietnam last year, not with this occasion in mind though... I remember looking at it rather distastefully when my mom first brought it back for me last year. For people who don't know me in person, i should probably mention that i'm vertically very challenged, so the dress loosely sagged on my stunted form. Her suggestion of wearing this dress for my prom was met with dismay at first, until she dug out the most amazing stilettos i had ever seen! six inches!!!,to be precise, which miraculously transformed a shapeless purple potato sack into an elegant evening gown.

Mom was supposed to be my make-up artist for the night, but owing to a truly unfortunate incident, she had to flee, leaving only her make-up kit and a hurried trial session of make up with a complete cosmetic illiterate.

I slept till late morning on the day of the prom in an attempt to eliminate any existing dark bags. Almost regretted it when i awoke to find the camera I was suppose to bring to the prom malfunctioning. Being the exhibitionist that I am, not bringing a camera meant a perfectly good night spoilt. At the verge of tears, i called my aunty, who went all out of her way to get a camera for me. A big chunky one, but a camera nontheless.
Rushed to wash my hair after that, took quite awhile. By the time i stepped out of the bathroom, Priscilla was already prettily decked up, waiting on my sofa.

I proceeded to applying the cosmetics after drying my hair, trying to follow as much of mother's instructions as i could remember. Although there was an eyelash curling device she specifically warned me against using, i used it anyway, got punished when peices of eyelash were painfully wrenched out after getting caught between the clamps. Sob. Since i'd already spent a fortune straightening my hair, i wore it in a simple pin and left most of it hanging loose.

This was how I looked like after the intense effort. Nicky, who was performing for my prom and whose last paper ended only hours before the prom, took about a tenth of the time i took to dress up.

Short moments later, Soo Han came in his Rexton and an attractive pink shirt to pick Pris and I. I discovered just how difficult it was to climb, walk and even to sit in a car with six inches heels. We then went over to Jon's house where he emerged, dashingly handsome as always, in his suit and a faint purple tie. Our last passenger was Dar Ray, who had a rather charming hairdo and a very nervous spirit, which caused him to leave his prom ticket behind. Thankfully though, it wasn't needed to gain entry...

Upon reaching the car park, we were met by Yinn Cher, also in a stylish pink striped shirt which was picked out the previous day, after our Red Box outing. He took this first shot of Jon and I.

To say that everyone looked gorgeous would be an understatement. It was simply a stunning sight to behold. The photo session began almost instantly and didn't stop until we were forcefully ushered into the main room.

I took many pictures, not all shown here, but this one is of great significance to me. My closest friends, Evelyn, Yun Yi, and Priscilla.

The chinese course dinner served was delightful indeed, but perhaps the grandeur and splendour of the night were overwhelming enough to draw our attention away from the food. Despite having big eaters at our table, the dishes were only half eaten.

The entertainment was good. This was Nicky's duet with his classmate, 'All I Ask of You' from the Phantom of the Opera. Ai Wui was nominated for prom queen, while Shivreena and Shirley were both nominated for best dressed. They were truly dazzling. Much of the entertainment came from the tasks assigned to the prom king and queen nominees. After that, i went for a washroom visit to refresh my make-up and never returned...haha...

Perhaps that was the most special part of the prom for me, the quiet time alone with Jon. It had been awhile since i'd been able to be in his company in peaceful solitude, away from exam stress and grouchiness. Just being beside him made my heart sing. It made no difference whether we were over-dressed and heavily painted (in my case), cause it's always the same for me, the special feeling that's present everytime he's near...I wanted to dance,badly, because i knew there would only be so many times where i'd be of the right height to dance with him, without me straining the tips of my toes or him hunching awkwardly. Ironically enough, it was my heels that did not permit me to do as i had pleased on that night.

The graduation ball wasn't just a farewell to friends i had met on this wonderful journey in Taylor's College, it was also good bye to some of my friends from CHS who would be venturing overseas for further studies very soon.

These are part of the 'herd' i'd clung to like a leach during high school, as i'd mentioned in an earlier post. The couple in white on the top pic are Yee Yien and Jor How. I spent the second half of my high school life being their lamp post. Being the remarkable friends they are, they never shooed me away. Not once. Watching them leave would be very sad indeed.

When we went back to the main hall, it was virtually deserted, most of the music and cheers had subsided, in fact it had migrated outside where cameras still flashed rampantly. The dancing was over. The group photo session was over too. But we managed to get at least this little group to pose with us before leaving.

From left, Sarene, one of the three girls in PM3 who were in purple that night, Su Ying, who, as always, volunteered her photograpy services, Christina, in a unique yellowish-green gown, myself, Fabian, still fair and lovely, Jon, and Kenn, who also had a nice little hairdo...

All in all, it was a night to remember...I went home exhausted but contented.
I had a lot of things to thank God for, top ten of these:
1 ) I could actually GO to the prom (God knows how close i came to missing it)
2 ) My perfect date
3 ) The wonderful company
4 ) My make up was actually quite well done for an amateur (if i say so myself..haha...)
5 ) My aunty who cared enough to get that camera for me
6 ) My mom who persistently called from wherever she was to make sure i did the right things and who waited up until i called when i came home at 1:00a.m.
7 ) I didn't trip and fall, sprain my ankle or anything embarrassing to that extent...considering the height of my heels and my usual clumsiness even on flat feet...that was a miracle in itself
8 ) I didn't loose my handphone or the camera my aunt went through so much trouble to borrow for me
9 ) My struggle with the eyelash curling device earlier didn't leave an obvious bald patch on my eye
10) It wasn't until the next morning when the first of the post-exam pimples popped out

It's actually been three weeks since my prom, but somehow, i still feel as though it only happened yesterday. It was my first. Hopefully it won't be my last... coz it was truly an incredible experience...

2006-06-25T02:40:00.000-07:00

Family Friends

It seems like only yesterday when Joshua, Allan and I sang 'The Prayer' in Bintang CHS, and Nick (my brother who's a year my junior) and Florence ( Joshua's sister who managed to get a JPA scholarship to Czech Republic for medicine) were competing for first in form. Today, Dennis (my youngest brother) and Lily (Joshua's youngest sister who's in the prefectorial board together with Dennis) have sucessfully made it to the finals of CHS idol (a renamed version of Bintang CHS) with 'At The Begining'.

Joshua's whole family came to our little modest house today and watched the youngest of both families join in song for the up coming competition this Saturday. And if two families of moral support wasn't enough, they brought along a high tech recording device and computer equipment necessary for enhancement of background music. =)

Lily and Dennis are the quietest of both families and needed considerable amount of encouragement to get going. The practice session started off on rocky grounds at first, but it didn't take long for them to start opening up under Florence's patient guidance. With Joshua's expertise in recording, and a few random remarks from Nicky and I, we at least managed to get an audible duet and a nearly flawless record of Florence's skillful playing. Joshua's dad has also agreed to send Lily over for further practice during the next precious few days before the big day, which also happens to be CHS's 50th anniversary.

On a side note, Joshua has composed a few songs which he recorded in full blast, main voice, background singing, piano and guitar solo all by him. Quite impressive indeed! Although Allan, Josh and I only made it as far as the finals and had to settle for consolation prize at the end, it was well worth it..haha..and it's good to know that Lily and Dennis are continuing our 'legacy' , hopefully they'll go much further and do us proud. =p

In any case, it's been a fun experience.

2006-06-24T05:19:00.000-07:00

Saturday

When college was still on, and exams looming close, my Saturday morning sleeps were always forsaken in favour of the library. Each time i reluctantly crawled out of my warm blanket, i envisioned the day i would awake to hear my maid creep into the room to wake my brother up for tuition, and gladly tell myself that i had all day to stay in bed.

That day has arrived. Ironically, it doesn't fill me with any gladness, but rather a sense of hollowness. I seem to have lost my direction in life. Maybe it's because i don't know when this nothingness will end. Before, i had thought my holiday would last for only two months and i would cherish every second of it. Now, there's a significant possibility that it'll last for the next eight months or so. I find that extremely dreadful.

For the moment, though, i have a few thrills that make it worth my while to get up at 11:45 a.m. on Saturdays (early for my standards) and at such requires an alarm clock. My highlight of the week, now that college is over, lunch with Jon... =) and a few precious hours after that, tinkering at my computer with him. The new links added to my baby blog are courtesy of Jon.

I realise i have been very bitter and selfish lately, my emotions have been raging within me the past week. I think i've changed a lot emotionaly, and it struck me just how much i've backslided from God in the last seven days, and how much of a hypocrite i've been. I always tell others to trust in God, to know that His way is the best way. Sometimes i forget to tell myself that. As stated in my earlier post, i don't know what God has in store for me, but given how He has always come through for me, i've decided to stop worrying about my future and trust Him with it. After all, it doesn't matter which path He'll lead me to in this life, as long as i stay faithful and follow His ways, I'll still be on the right track towards salvation. So, i'm laying it all at His feet. Let not my will but Yours be done, Lord.

Went to see the dermatologist today...he said it's probably post-exam stress...whatever that means. But i think it's more likely my restrained anger and frustration that has caused my outbreak. Even so, i'm not confident it'll clear on it's own, so, despite my neurosurgeon uncle's advice, i'm back on the anti-acne drugs. My Monash interview for medicine is next saturday. Can't be easy to convince the interviewers of your capability to heal others when you're covered with disgusting pimples. First impression you'll give is HYGIENE PROBLEM! So i hope it'll clear by then. I'll let you know.

And a special congratulations to Rong Xiang, who secured a place for medicine in University Malaya. A big achievement. =)

2006-06-22T03:30:00.000-07:00

Special Memories of Pm3 Outings...

I'm skipping part II of 'special events that took place in college' since i can't seem to upload all the pictures i want. Anyway, these are some of the pictures taken during our class outings throughout the year.They are not in chronological order though...

After coming across an unusual biology question on sexual reproduction in which we were introduced to a new term called ' sperm train',

Yinn Cher, Evelyn, Yun Yi and I (people who carried sling bags to college) formed our very own sperm train in Asia cafe..don't know if you 'd consider this out of college, given that it's only ten steps from Taylor's guard house...

This was probably a random shot of Ai Wui, Dar Ray, Soo Han, Hui Xuan and Shirley outside Secret Recipe in One Utama, where we went to after our last paper, to watch 'X-men'...

After the movie, and long hours wasted on deciding where to dine, we settled for a simple food court in SS2 and celebrated Su Ying's belated birthday there. The cheese cake was from 'Secret Recipe' ... We brought it all the way from One Utama to SS2...

One of the last few days of chinese new year, PM3 had a day of collecting ang pows where we visited most of our houses ...

This is at the balcony of Soo Han's lovely house

From left : Yun Yi, Priscilla, myself, Shirley,

Hui Ann, Hui Xuan, Ai Wui,

Evelyn and Su Ying

We had a surprise Birthday party for Jon on the same day at Yinn Cher's house...among his many birthday presents was a chance to inject Hui Xuan with her daily insulin...

Yinn Cher also graciously provided Yee Sang ( a chinese new year dish believed to bring prosperity for the year) ...We made a complete mess of his table after 'lohing' (which is customary of the chinese before partaking the Yee Sang)

After an exhausting but gratifying day, Teck Ree and some others whose houses we didn't get the chance to visit, treated us to a scrumptios sea food dinner at Telok Gong. We had a 'Yam Seng'(cheers) session. We wanted to drink 'To PM3!' at first, but since Soo Fan(the one in bright orange, second from left,Soo Han's identical twin) & Chin Pei (Teck Ree's girlfriend) were not members of Pm3, we finally settled for 'To Pm3, couples and twins!'

After our final exams and the One Utama outing, we proceeded to Red Box in The Curve the next day where we belted out various songs in the most fashionable way. This was the climax of our performance, The 'YMCA' ... =P

This is redundant, but i just had to put it up...

It was taken outside the wash room of Red Box...

It seems Ai Wui and I have identical taste in shoes .... =)

These pictures only capture a fraction of the joy I've experienced with Pm3, they are only snapshots of the fun times we have shared, but the memory of the actual events will remain in my heart always...

2006-06-21T20:51:00.000-07:00

I'm very angry. I'm very frustrated. It took me tremendous effort to sign in to blogspot.com to get here due to some stupid cookie problem. I spent the whole of yesrterday and today trying to upload more pictures on my blog but the stupid thing just won't upload anything for me, eventhough i did exactly the same things i did for the earlier post.

This is having an adverse effect on me. I have SIXTEEN new pimples on my face. I'm disgusting.

2006-06-20T08:37:00.000-07:00

PART I : Special Events That Took Place In College

On Valentine's Day... Jon presenting Yinn Cher with a blue rose...

Also on Valentine's Day... My first bouquet of roses... ^-^

PM3 in pink together with our class mentor, Mr Chan...

My 18th birthday (2005), the cake was from Evelyn, Yun Yi, Priscilla, Soo Han, Kenn, Hui Xuan, Hui Ann, Ai Wui, Su Ying, Sarene, Shirley and Dar Ray...

Jon and I on the last day of college...

Yinn Cher piggy backing Yun Yi =P...

2006-06-19T23:30:00.000-07:00

The End Of College (18 months later)

I have just reached the end of the most amazing chapter of my life thus far...
What had seemed an ineveitable roadblock to me 18 months ago proved to be the best turn i had ever taken in the short journey of life i have thus travelled.

Never before have I enjoyed schooling so much. Joining PM3 opened my eyes to a whole new world of love, in every aspect. This class is a mixture of wit, charm, intelligence, deligence, and FUN! Every single member is unique and complementary to one another, giving a vast array of personalities and opinions, all of which contribute to making PM3 the special and dynamic class that it is.

Throughout my course in PM3, i have experienced genuine care, encouragement, enlightenment (in more than one way), and have learned the true meaning of friendship. These are the people that really enhanced my college life...

Jonathan
The source of most of my happiness, probably the reason i managed to survive physics practical. The one who puts a smile on my face every morning and makes my day without even trying. The one whom i had a ridiculous girly crush on since i first set eyes on him. The one who takes care of the class well being. The one who is blessed with so much, physically and intellectually. Brings spark and life to the class. The one whom i spent nearly all of my library hours with. The one whom i trust with my hopes and dreams and dissapointments. My definition of Drop Dead Gorgeous. The one i grew to love in a very short time and will continue to love for a long long time.

Priscilla
My confidante and sitting partner for most of the course. Someone I can be absolutely honest with and whom i can trust to be absolutely honest with me. A very unselfish and sincere friend who will go all out to help others. A living testimony to me of how a christian should be. A blessing to me and to many others. My christian faith booster and an amazing friend in so many ways...

Evelyn
Gifted with good looks, intelligence and a golden heart. Ever sweet and caring. Organizes most of the birthday celebrations. PM3's cake cutter. Has made it possible for me to attend parties, class trips and project meetings owing to her generous offer of transport in every occasion. A very close friend who gives good advise and never judges. Never had a bad thought about anyone. Friendly and kind to everyone. Also a living testimony for God.

Yun Yi
Simply a GENIUS! Has many credentials that cannot be listed completely here. Full of humour and spontaneity. The most superior person i have met to date and am proud of knowing. The one whose i humbleness i truly admire and hope to acquire should i ever achieve half of what she has. Sings well, plays Dota well, plays the piano and violin, knows about BLEACH, blogs well, listens to more chinese songs than i do(despite never attending chinese school). Someone i can relate to vertically. =p

Kenn
Someone i'm indebted to. Made me feel welcome during the first few weeks in PM3. Plays the piano very well. Writes well too. Has a lot of hidden talents unknowned to people. A good friend.

Yinn Cher
A lot like Yun Yi. A genius in many ways. Brings spark and life to the class as well. Has done a lot for me. Organizes class trips and most outings. The reason why I could join the Redang class trip. Looks good with small eyes and should not try to change that. Someone who speaks his mind honestly. Very confident and posseses good speaking skills. Will go very far in the future.

Soo Han
An identical twin! Humorous even without saying anything. The antidote for depression. Someone who never loses his cool. A lot of fun to be around with.

Su Ying
One of the most generous people i know. The source of practically all my friendster pictures. Sincere and easy going. Kind to animals and humans. A skilled photographer.

Sarene
Petite. Also easy going. Very helpful and kind. Someone I enjoyed having tuition classes with.

Dar Ray
A good christian who's not afraid to stand up for what he believes in. A very sincere and genuine friend who cared a lot for me, who advised me without insulting me.

Hui Xuan
Also gifted with a GREAT mind. A very patient teacher and someone who doesn't make me feel bad for bugging her in the library everyday. Pretty. Outgoing and fun. Tough on the inside despite her fragile frame. Gentle and sweet. Needs to eat more though.

Ai Wui
My bio lab partner. Incredibly blunt. We share the same taste in clothes. Made bio practicals fun. Very good at hair styling and designing clothes. Was nominated for prom queen.

Hui Ann
A very cute friend. Chinese Penang girl who can't speak Hokkien. Sincere and understanding. Easy to get along with. Very Bright. Got accepted into N.U.S.

Siew Hui a.k.a Shirley
Very pretty. A capable person who has great potential in life. Has two dogs. Someone who really understood how i felt in the operating theater during our medical attachment.

Hong Ping
Very Tall. A JPA scholar. Not afraid to ask for help. Seems to do very well academically with enough time on the side for Dota. Generous with compliments. Funny in his own way.

Christina
An independent girl from Sarawak. Also a JPA scholar. Someone I enjoyed having serious talks with.

Phoebe
Extremely cute! The longest friend i know in this class. Seems to grow prettier every year. Her mom was my physics teacher.

Jia Xin
The class rep. Would have been lost in class during my first week without her notes. A good leader. Also pretty. Always smilling.

Shivreena
In all honesty, she is the prettiest girl in PM3. Has a different hair style everyday and looks good in anything. Very friendly and articulate. Confident and composed. Everything a beautiful woman should be.

Sin Yee
Someone who can do anything she sets her heart on. Outspoken and outgoing. Friendly.

Teck Ree
Very generous. Treated us to Teluk Gong seafood. Has graciously provided transport for me more than once. Has a very beautiful girlfriend. Sings passionately.

Fabian
Has enviable complexion. Very sporting. A pleasant person to talk to. Have never seen him angry.

Benjamin
A very quiet guy. Speaks mostly when sports is concerned. The only person whom i converse with in mandarin.

Kean Sheen
Boy from Penang. Also funny in his own way.

Vivek
Another Boy from Penang. Was a vegetarian before he came to PM3. haha.... Friendly and smiley.

Yi Ling
I'm sorry i was not a better friend.

Munira, Intan and Ilani
Friendly and helpful people. All are JPA scholars. Always bugged them for answers during bio practical.

Dear PM3,
I hope neither time nor distance will tear us appart.
You have made a special inprint on my heart that i shall carry with me always.
May the Lord bless each one of you.
I Love you.

So I guess God did know exactly what He was doing 18 months ago... =)

2006-06-19T03:54:00.000-07:00

The Start of College ( 18 months ago...)

I recall being dissapointed on orientation day at Taylor's College Subang Jaya,which is two and a half minutes walk from my front door. Going to college was not as grand as i'd thought it would be. The classrooms were cold and small.

Having studied in chinese schools for nearly the whole of my schooling life,i was accustomed to sardine packed classrooms with overwhelming loudness. Upon stepping into my first class, i felt a sense of hollowness. It was half the size of a normal class, with a major imbalance in gender composition.

Being an extremely insecured person,it took a lot out of me to independently choose my subjects, knowing i would be away from the rest of the herd whom i'd clung to like a leach throughout my high school years. I was determined to pursue my ambition of becoming a financial controller, even if it meant giving up security. I had thought,'this is the time for me to stand up on my own feet'. I guess it had been pretty easy to adjust to college life, because within the first week, i felt like i was well on my way to achieving my dreams, although there was a little something that i wasn't pleased with.

Little did i know, that 'little something' had left me no choice but to leave the road towards an ambition i thought was mine, and directed me towards a completely different direction.

So, after lass than a week in my new class, i reluctantly left...
I stared at the new time table in my hands that had 'PM3' printed on it,along with columns filled with the word 'physics',( too many for my comfort ).
I heavily trodded towards a new chapter of my life... and prayed that God knew what He was doing...

2006-06-19T02:51:00.000-07:00

Genesis
I've never been much of a computer person. Under normal circumstances, i never would have started this blog because:
1) I have a tough time managing my time as it is
2) Writing doesn't come naturally to me as with some people
3)I have a bad memory (when i feel like telling someone something, i usually only remember half of it the next day, what more with having to write about it)
4)The defining boundary between fantasy and reality is very faint in my mind...sometimes i can't be sure if things really did happen or if it happened only in my mind...
5)My mom always says,' never leave attainable proof of anything negative you have to say about anyone or anything because it can,and in this world,it will always be used against you,'
6)I always thought i had better things to do.

But despite the above reasons, i'm starting a new blog because:
1)I have too much time on my hands now.
2)Spontaneous writing is a skill i have to learn soon anyway...what better time to learn than during the hols..
3)Blogging might stimulate me to put more effort into remembering things, and it'll act as a treasure chest to store precious memories I don't trust my brain with..
4)I seem to have a lot of inspiration nowadays.
5)I'm a trend follower, and blogging seems to be the current trend..
6)I'm an exhibitionist, and friendster only allows 50 photos...
7)I really have nothing better to do now.